The Free Land of Privatore is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Capitan Privatore with an even hand, and renowned for its parental licensing program, strictly enforced bedtime, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 23.196 billion Privatoreans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Privatore City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Privatorean economy, worth an astonishing 11,266 trillion Privs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 485,690 Privs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Tourists outnumber citizens two to one, arbitrary election rules are considered sacrosanct, holiday light displays just aren't the same without seizure-inducing strobe effects, and artists are pillars of society. Crime is totally unknown. Privatore's national animal is the Weasel, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Privatore is ranked 330,955^th in the world and 4,952^nd in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 18.58 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.