The Karantanija of Slovanov is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Črtomir with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, smutty television, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 6.179 billion Karantanci have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Krnski grad. The average income tax rate is 19.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Karantanec economy, worth 915 trillion Karantanecs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 148,218 Karantanecs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

It is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow, a favorite "life hack" for gap year backpackers is to pretend to be homeless for government handouts, it is believed that behind every great man is a terrified subservient woman, and police nightsticks see use all day long. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Slovanov's national animal is the Karantanski panter, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Poganstvo.

Slovanov is ranked 198,585^th in the world and 680^th in Europe for Most Primitive, scoring -81.4 on the Scary Big Number Scale.