The Holy Traditionalist Empire of Creeperopolis is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Emperador Alexander II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, prohibition of alcohol, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 18.78 billion Creeperans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of San Salvador. The average income tax rate is 91.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Creeperian economy, worth a remarkable 7,255 trillion Creeperian Colóns a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Retail, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 386,329 Creeperian Colóns, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

Bands of paramedics walk the streets looking for suspicious medical activity, aggravated apostrophe abusers are admonished and assaulted, children grow up believing the sun to be a myth, and printing ink yields Roman Catholicism's biggest return on investment. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Creeperopolis's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Creeperopolis is ranked 3,328^th in the world and 9^th in The League for Lowest Crime Rates, with 127.59 law-abiding acts per hour.