The United Socialist Republic of Konzhov is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Comrade Stalinkovich with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 15.067 billion Konzhovians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Education, Healthcare, and Defense also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sovda. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Konzhovian economy, worth a remarkable 2,970 trillion USRK Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Furniture Restoration, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 197,151 USRK Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Engine room hooch is the drink of choice among the nation's navy, the number of judges has tripled in recent months, no personal detail is too tiny for the suede-denim census police, and victims of crime are viewed as less trustworthy than politicians. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Konzhov's national animal is the Konzhovian brown bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Konzhov is ranked 287,225^th in the world and 1,453^rd in Europe for Nicest Citizens, with 0.26 average smiles per day.