The Free Land of Loechia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Shrimpy DeShrimp with a fair hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, public floggings, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, democratic population of 16.895 billion Loechians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Loechia City. The average income tax rate is 73.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Loechian economy, worth a remarkable 2,402 trillion Novas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 142,191 Novas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Criminal convictions are routinely thrown out because the accused's grandmother didn't get to testify about their good character, Loechian novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Shrimpy DeShrimp, insanely good theatre productions face government censorship, and airport announcements inform passengers that flights have been delayed because pilots are having afternoon naps. Crime is totally unknown. Loechia's national animal is the Loechian Bloodhound, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Loechia is ranked 282,857^th in the world and 5,306^th in the South Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -390.61 on the Scary Big Number Scale.