The Union State of Greater Bahland is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by President Andrew with an even hand, and remarkable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, compulsory military service, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 5.212 billion Bahlandians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Layshill. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 34.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Bahlandian economy, worth 999 trillion Geld-Shards a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 191,783 Geld-Shards, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,053,390 per year while the poor average 17,747, a ratio of 59.4 to 1.

Bemused citizens are encouraged to sing foreign-language hymns of religions they have never heard of, new "Commiserations! It's An Accident!" greetings cards for expectant mothers are selling surprisingly quickly, the "swords to plowshares" policy has created a generation of farmers that can kill a yak from 200 yards away, and students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas. Crime is a serious problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Greater Bahland's national animal is the lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Greater Bahland is ranked 269,828^th in the world and 1,364^th in Europe for Most Beautiful Environments, with 65.11 pounds of wildlife per square mile.