The Kingdom of Thurland is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by King Frederick I with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, infamous sell-swords, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.701 billion Thurlandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Social Policy and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Thurston. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Thurlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,521 trillion Thurlandian Shillings a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 266,952 Thurlandian Shillings, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The line of people waiting for a visa interview in front of foreign embassies is typically a mile long, government bureaucrats review designs for birdhouses to ensure they do not block the views of neighbors, children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia, and the nation has always been at war with Moltovea. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thurland's national animal is the Stag, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church of Thurland.

Thurland is ranked 270,886^th in the world and 4,899^th in The East Pacific for Safest, scoring 9.89 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.