The Free Land of Privatore is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Capitan Privatore with an even hand, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, infamous sell-swords, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 21.76 billion Privatoreans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Privatore City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Privatorean economy, worth an astonishing 10,507 trillion Privs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 482,904 Privs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Harassed women are constantly hassled by guys who are "just giving them compliments", everybody's got wood thanks to Capitan Privatore, twins are held culpable for the actions of their siblings, and manufacturers of biodegradable plastics have to wait for months to show evidence of organic decomposition. Crime is totally unknown. Privatore's national animal is the Weasel, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Privatore is ranked 145,467^th in the world and 3,366^th in the South Pacific for Safest, scoring 62.12 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.