The United Socialist States of Middle Green Irthistan is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Lieutenant Colonel Tord ändert with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, infamous sell-swords, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.318 billion Middle Green Irthistanians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order and Education also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kaltensondheim. The average income tax rate is 87.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Middle Green Irthistanian economy, worth 716 trillion Opelalns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 166,027 Opelalns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Middle Green Irthistanian soldiers are assured their new ray-guns will finally power up after the next round of ominous chanting, the practice of capital punishment proves divisive, elections have been outlawed, and the military perceives nations hit by natural disasters as "easy pickings". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Middle Green Irthistan's national animal is the Wunderpus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Hwuman sacrificeignism.

Middle Green Irthistan is ranked 277,878^th in the world and 1,354^th in The Communist Bloc for Highest Food Quality, scoring 6.15 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.