The Fabled Republic of Wischland is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by President Maria von Eisenmerk with a fair hand, and notable for its irreverence towards religion, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 8.67 billion Wischlandians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fernimburg. The average income tax rate is 54.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Wischlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,037 trillion Orchis a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 119,720 Orchis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Dog owners proudly declare that their pups can predict when the mailman will arrive, the Super-Spud Cinematic Universe is breaking box office records, political spontaneity takes a lot of planning, and this summer's chart-toppers sound almost the same as last year's. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Wischland's national animal is the Great Horned Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Wischland is ranked 271,279^th in the world and 609^th in 10000 Islands for Most Primitive, scoring -250.28 on the Scary Big Number Scale.