The Fünftes Kaiserreich of Vordoslavia is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Grand Kaiser Leopold the 1st with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, public floggings, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 1.713 billion Vordoslavians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Greater Talacomsta. The average income tax rate is 84.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Vordoslavian economy, worth 230 trillion Slawisch Marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 134,639 Slawisch Marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

Military spending recently hit a new high, construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway, the road to capitalism has proved an epic drama of adventure and exploration, and the 'sing-a-long with Grand Kaiser Leopold the 1st' album is a popular souvenir. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vordoslavia's national animal is the Griffin, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholic Teutonism.

Vordoslavia is ranked 7,995^th in the world and 18^th in The Region That Has No Big Banks for Lowest Crime Rates, with 105.66 law-abiding acts per hour.