The Eggdog-Abundant Haven of United States Of Alpha is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by JustBry4 with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, deadly medical pandemics, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 1.926 billion Alphanians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The medium-sized, corrupt, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Utopiatopia. The average income tax rate is 67.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Alphanian economy, worth 325 trillion pingas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 169,197 pingas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Students and teachers are regularly stopped and searched for symbols of religious affiliation before class, fashion models are guaranteed to be 100% genuinely as anorexic as they appear on magazine covers, daredevil kayakers frequently race against runaway hippos, and nothing is more offensive than being inoffensive. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. United States Of Alpha's national animal is the eggdog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Internet-Phenomenist Eggdogism.

United States Of Alpha is ranked 84,308^th in the world and 1,261^st in the Rejected Realms for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 3,285.89 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.