The Drugi Imperij of Hetonik Isles is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Czarina Elena Mira I with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, otherworldly petting zoo, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.352 billion Hetoniki are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heziki. The average income tax rate is 70.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Hetonik economy, worth 479 trillion Silver Feathers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 142,913 Silver Feathers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

The military recognizes no difference between male and female soldiers, honeymoon suites can be located by following newlywed couples' shrieks of "what's that?", the "blue screen of death" forces many trials to be either aborted or restarted, and fancy dress parties are raided by military police for new recruits. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hetonik Isles's national animal is the Hetonik Osprey, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Morjeism.

Hetonik Isles is ranked 105,231^st in the world and 119^th in The Region That Has No Big Banks for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 42,159.48 Standard Monetary Units.