The Social Union of Pai Land is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Supreme Leader Mr Troller with an iron fist, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, avowedly heterosexual populace, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 5.228 billion Paians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Xxiling. The average income tax rate is 86.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Paian economy, worth 478 trillion pesos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Average income is 91,438 pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A recent political speech drew the ire of nerds everywhere after the speaker claimed that Darth Vader was Harry Potter's father, modelling agencies send their clients to work in nursing homes, suppression of pro-democracy protests is a daily occurrence, and the Forestry Department has decided you really can't fight fire with fire. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pai Land's national animal is the Winged Monkey, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Pai Land is ranked 143,956^th in the world and 2,903^rd in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.