The United Socialist States of Outer Scotiotland is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Supreme Leader Hynds with an iron fist, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, pith helmet sales, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.664 billion Outer Scotiotlandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Outer Scotiotland City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 90.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Outer Scotiotlandian economy, worth a remarkable 1,261 trillion Scottish Pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 222,638 Scottish Pounds, with the richest citizens earning 7.7 times as much as the poorest.

Outer Scotiotlandians believe manners maketh the leader, the working classes live and die on the fields of the farming communes, any body part that can be cut off a person is no longer considered to be their property, and molehills are the only mountains deemed safe enough for the public. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Outer Scotiotland's national animal is the Unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Hyndsism.

Outer Scotiotland is ranked 237,780^th in the world and 2,910^th in the West Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -5.01 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.