The Queendom of West Hamburg is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Nami von Preußen with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 14.294 billion West Hamburgians are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Königsberg. The average income tax rate is 92.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient West Hamburgian economy, worth a remarkable 1,919 trillion Hamburg Marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 134,263 Hamburg Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The sound of office water cooler chatter has been replaced by the whirring of computer cooling fans, the people's love for Nami von Preußen is little more than self-preservation, the combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, and glamping West Hamburgians won't sleep in a tent that doesn't include a Jacuzzi. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. West Hamburg's national animal is the Seal, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

West Hamburg is ranked 11,384^th in the world and 517^th in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 54.76 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.