The Republic of Oneist is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its pith helmet sales, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical, devout population of 9.211 billion Oneistians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 49.2%.

The all-consuming Oneistian economy, worth 965 trillion Oneists a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 104,829 Oneists, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

A suspicious number of John Smiths are known to donate to Oneistian politicians, nobody likes bad boys any more, former arsonists can be found on local fire brigades, and the nation has gained millions of new citizens overnight. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Oneist's national animal is the Dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Oneist is ranked 213,013^th in the world and 26^th in Crystal Falls for Most Primitive, scoring -91.06 on the Scary Big Number Scale.