The Federation of Berlin-Moscow Union is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Nikolai Kardashev with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, ubiquitous missile silos, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed population of 6.081 billion Unionians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vilnius. The average income tax rate is 96.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Unionian economy, worth a remarkable 1,132 trillion Crownoes a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 186,168 Crownoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The official Unionian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child, citizens who plan overseas vacations are barred from running for political office, the study of medicine is popular throughout Berlin-Moscow Union, and Nikolai Kardashev steals from the rich and gives to the needy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Berlin-Moscow Union's national animal is the Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Berlin-Moscow Union is ranked 274,079^th in the world and 1,048^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Primitive, scoring -271.85 on the Scary Big Number Scale.