The Federal Kingdom of Skwar is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by King Thomas with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, anti-smoking policies, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 10.44 billion Skwariots enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The minute, corrupt, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skwar Capital District. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Skwariot economy, worth a remarkable 2,516 trillion escudoes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 241,050 escudoes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's democracy attracts huddled masses yearning to breathe free, pocket calculators are seen as status symbols for the ostentatiously wealthy, pet loving officers arrest citizens who don't give their dogs enough biscuits, and woke teenagers spontaneously burst into tears when thinking about the world's woes. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Skwar's national animal is the Skwar eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Skwaricism.

Skwar is ranked 5,056^th in the world and 91^st in the South Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 6,879.91 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.