The Free Islands of The Coarsal Pirates is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by High Captain Balman with a fair hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, flagrant waste-dumping, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 7.316 billion Pirates live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Industry also on the agenda, while Law & Order and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Blacklake Isle. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Coarsal economy, worth a remarkable 2,621 trillion gold marks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 358,363 gold marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

The country has been 'going shopping' by annexing nearby nations for their resources, surrealist houses shaped like mushrooms and volcanoes dominate the wealthiest neighborhoods, assault rifles sized for 7-year-olds are a frighteningly popular export, and the sidewalk is used as an overtaking lane by city drivers. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. The Coarsal Pirates's national animal is the kraken, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Alcoholism.

The Coarsal Pirates is ranked 291,490^th in the world and 11,077^th in Osiris for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring -30.17 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.