The Most Serene Republic of Neo Splatoonia is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by DJ Ikagêso Scampï with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, public floggings, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 7.992 billion Inklings and Octarians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Inkopolis. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 13.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Splatooned economy, worth a remarkable 1,390 trillion super sea snails a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Tourism. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 173,984 super sea snails, with the richest citizens earning 8.5 times as much as the poorest.

Jollity-related fatalities are on the increase, people of faith are sent to twelve-step programs for 'The Cure', the government advises foreign diplomats to speak softly and carry a big bag of cash, and lonely people are supposed to be cheered up by the many parties that they are never invited to. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Neo Splatoonia's national animal is the Great Zapfish, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Neo Splatoonia is ranked 71,842^nd in the world and 13^th in The Vincence Empire for Highest Food Quality, scoring 28.4 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.