Post
Region: Spiritus
HELLO DEAR SPIRITUSIANITES! It is time... TO VOTE! Time... FOR DEMOCRACY! Time... TO ELECT THE FIRST FRY AT THE BOTTOM OF THE BAG!!!
Voting will begin in ONE WEEK on JUNE 1ST!!!!
Once you're in the race, you may begin campaigning on the RMB and using dispatches. HAVE FUN AND DON'T BREAK ANYTHING!!
THE LIST:
1. Kumquatian Confederacy
2. Kialga
3. Dootdootdootlydoot
4. Bruh survivor
5. Kasadea
6. Legendus
And the answer is yes. I (KiKi) do love you!
Why should you vote for Kiki to be the Fry at the Bottom of the Bag?
Well simple! The Fry at the Bottom of the Bag is the one you never realized you had or wanted, but it's always the best fry out of the whole bag. You get that moment of pure bliss as you finish the bag with that wonderful last fry. It is best summarized in the following poem I have written.
The Fry at the Bottom of the Bag
The one that is certainly not a drag
So we shall not lollygag
And get on with this moment of swag
I am very similar to that fry
While I am the best, I am very shy
My rights to this position you cannot deny
I cannot be quick to say goodbye
So your vote should go to KiKi
His pants are always khaki
And while he never goes to ski
He knows how to edit a wiki
And with that, I conclude on why you should vote me as The Fry at the Bottom of the Bag. In many ways I am very similar to the Fry that lingers at the Bottom of the Bag. I am a piece of joy you don't expect when you're finishing your meal. I am soft and lovable, and even though I can be very salty, I make the entire experience so much more enjoyable. Remember to cast your vote for KiKi (Kialga) on June 1st for The Fry at the Bottom of the Bag!
And a campaign promise! If you all elect me as The Fry at the Bottom of the Bag, everyone gets a free pair of khakis with potatoes in the pockets!
ALSO! Be sure to check out my totally original song cover for the second half of this campaign!
Do you tend to save the best for last?
Well then keep reading and you'll find out why you should vote for Kasadea
to be The Fry at the Bottom of the Bag.
Have you ever felt like your taste buds were having a party?
Have you ever tasted something that you felt like you were seeing the face of god?
Have you ever tasted a fry that doesn't compare to any other?
Well, that is what Kasadea feels like...
Wouldn't you like to save it at the bottom of the bag for the end?
...
Or would you rather cover that taste with an inferior fry?
...
If you vote for Kasadea, you'll also receive a free unlimited refill for your favorite soda!
Hello Spiritus,
Don't vote for me. Just don't do it. I'm dangerously underqualified to handle any position of importance and an overall terrible candidate for myriad reasons. I have no experience in government. I'm relatively inactive on the RMB, the forum, and the Discord. Furthermore, I have nothing to contribute to the progress and welfare of this region I have little to no stake in. And so, if elected, I would first consider a heinous mistake to have occurred. Under my purely superficial rule as the stale fry of Spiritus, you can reasonably expect nothing to change. The items of business most immediately relevant to the typical Spiritan's life are luckily left in the hands of qualified elected individuals like Delegate The Salaxalans, and you might not even notice how terrible I actually am until the next Fry election. Still, would you really want to set off this bold new chapter in Spiritus history on such a low note? I think not. Don't vote Dootdootdootlydoot. This isn't a ploy at reverse psychology. It is in fact because of reverse psychology that I suspect getting exactly zero votes will be much more difficult than simply getting the most. If I don't make my message known, I could reasonably expect a few uninformed votes. 44 Spiritans did their civic duty in the last RMB poll held, and a staggering 26 voted for the temperature system named after the guy who designed it backwards. Clearly, I also cannot trust my fellow citizens to make intelligent voting decisions in a vacuum. Spiritus will decide the fates of my competitors as a collective, and I wish them all the best. But my campaign is shattered by just a single individual. Your vote quite literally means more to me than to my opponents. So vote for Kasadea or Kialga. For Legendus or Kumquatian Confederacy. Yep, that's it, that's all the candidates. But whatever you do, don't vote Dootdootdootlydoot. My name is Dootdootdootlydoot "Doot" Poop-poop, and I am running to be the first inaugural Fry at the Bottom of the Bag of Spiritus: your FIFatBotBoS. However, to facilitate informed voting decisions during the week of elections (which begins very soon!), I wish to be immediately transparent with the people.
Scientific Studies Suggest Voting for Legendus May Increase Coolness, Attractiveness
In a recent study conducted by the Totally Legit Research Institute of Legendus, Which Is A Real Thing So You Don’t Need To Look It Up (TLRILWIARTSYDNTLIU), findings are pointing strongly to a correlation between support of Legendus in the race for Fry at the Bottom of the Bag (FATBOTB) and general awesomeness - not to mention a potential increase in libido.
“Our top researchers have looked at the evidence, and frankly, the numbers don’t lie,” explains Dr. Lucien Kearns, scribblings something very important down on his equally scientific clipboard. “I mean, literally, they don’t lie. Numbers aren’t sentient, they’re incapable of thought. That would just be silly... right?”
Research into the cause of this phenomenon is still ongoing, as current tests have only been performed in controlled conditions, but theories currently suggest that electing Legendus for FATBOTB will have a positive impact on the Spiritus region as a whole, including bumper crops for potato farmers.
"At this rate, we can't find a reason why people shouldn't vote for Legendus," adds Dr. Kearns. "Of course, we're totally legitimate scientists who must remain impartial, but the fact is, Legendus simply appears to be the most sensible choice."
Undoubtedly, a vote for me is a vote for science, logic, and unyielding potatoes!
Don't be a dud, be a spud. Vote Legendus this upcoming Monday!
