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by Dootdootdootlydoot. . 30 reads.

Anyone But Dootdootdootlydoot for Fry at the Bottom of the Bag



Hello Spiritus,

    My name is Dootdootdootlydoot "Doot" Poop-poop, and I am running to be the first inaugural Fry at the Bottom of the Bag of Spiritus: your FIFatBotBoS. However, to facilitate informed voting decisions during the week of elections (which begins very soon!), I wish to be immediately transparent with the people.

    Don't vote for me. Just don't do it. I'm dangerously underqualified to handle any position of importance and an overall terrible candidate for myriad reasons. I have no experience in government. I'm relatively inactive on the RMB, the forum, and the Discord. Furthermore, I have nothing to contribute to the progress and welfare of this region I have little to no stake in.

    And so, if elected, I would first consider a heinous mistake to have occurred. Under my purely superficial rule as the stale fry of Spiritus, you can reasonably expect nothing to change. The items of business most immediately relevant to the typical Spiritan's life are luckily left in the hands of qualified elected individuals like Delegate The Salaxalans, and you might not even notice how terrible I actually am until the next Fry election. Still, would you really want to set off this bold new chapter in Spiritus history on such a low note? I think not. Don't vote Dootdootdootlydoot.

    This isn't a ploy at reverse psychology. It is in fact because of reverse psychology that I suspect getting exactly zero votes will be much more difficult than simply getting the most. If I don't make my message known, I could reasonably expect a few uninformed votes. 44 Spiritans did their civic duty in the last RMB poll held, and a staggering 26 voted for the temperature system named after the guy who designed it backwards. Clearly, I also cannot trust my fellow citizens to make intelligent voting decisions in a vacuum.

    Spiritus will decide the fates of my competitors as a collective, and I wish them all the best. But my campaign is shattered by just a single individual. Your vote quite literally means more to me than to my opponents. So vote for Kasadea or Kialga. For Legendus or Kumquatian confederacy. Yep, that's it, that's all the candidates. But whatever you do, don't vote Dootdootdootlydoot.

Dootdootdootlydoot

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