The フェデレーション of Nowa Europa is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Prezydent Iga Świątek with a fair hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 13.527 billion Nowa Europeans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Silesia. The average income tax rate is 39.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Nowa Europan economy, worth a remarkable 4,818 trillion banknotes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 356,215 banknotes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Government officials sit helplessly as they are labelled 'Pompous Womples' by celebrities, motorists must pay to enter inner-cities during peak hours, the nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments, and the government has cut its subsidies for all special interest groups. Crime is well under control. Nowa Europa's national animal is the Water Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nowa Europa is ranked 895^th in the world and 18^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 82.5 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.