The Confederated Republic of Pantoufle is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Magnus Søndergaard with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and aversion to nipples. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 16.56 billion Pantouflians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Orchard Hills. The average income tax rate is 96.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Pantouflian economy, worth a remarkable 2,203 trillion Pantouflian Kroner a year, is highly specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 133,044 Pantouflian Kroner, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 390,379 per year while the poor average 35,743, a ratio of 10.9 to 1.

Too many hyper-intelligent chefs can spoil the allegorical broth, engineers ask liberal arts majors "Do you want fries with that?", religious households enthusiastically use whips in private, and the "Dreadnowt" is the pride and joy of the Pantouflian Navy. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pantoufle's national animal is the Gryfalcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Pantoufle is ranked 278,917^th in the world and 291^st in Wintreath for Most Primitive, scoring -326.3 on the Scary Big Number Scale.