The Holiday Abomination of Kulowetsa is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Eldritch Santa with an even hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, enslaved workforce, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate population of 3.827 billion Kulowetsans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of North Pole. The average income tax rate is 32.2%.

The Kulowetsan economy, worth 180 trillion gifts a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 47,079 gifts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.3 times as much as the poorest.

The country's population is reported with a margin of error of several billions, polygamy is legal, politicians preface their speeches with a declaration that any resemblance to speeches given by individuals living or dead is purely coincidental, and the government keeps introducing new foreign species to combat the previous ones it has introduced. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kulowetsa's national animal is the snowman down the road, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Santanism.

Kulowetsa is ranked 131,055^th in the world and 25^th in City of Yharnam for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 799.31 on the Gilded Widget Scale.