The Union of Tioloman is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Spere Helias with an even hand, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 12.233 billion Tiolomanites enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of San Fernando-Bacolor. The average income tax rate is 82.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tiolomanese economy, worth a remarkable 1,666 trillion Pesos a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 136,243 Pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

For the sake of 'public interest' news programs tell viewers how to home-make Sarin gas bombs, country folk are sent to obligatory boarding schools to learn how to be civilized, the endangered saltwater humpback Carabao is only seen in captivity programs, and drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tioloman's national animal is the Carabao, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Tioloman is ranked 8,683^rd in the world and 248^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 56.1 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.