The Fünftes Kaiserreich of Vordoslavia is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Grand Kaiser Leopold the 1st with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, prohibition of alcohol, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.848 billion Vordoslavians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Greater Talacomsta. The average income tax rate is 89.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Vordoslavian economy, worth 244 trillion Slawisch Marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 132,213 Slawisch Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Taking a walk on the wild side is punishable by death, a cyber-war between file sharers and the music industry formats hard drives across the country, unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves, and bread-gangs raid restaurant waste bins to stockpile uneaten rolls. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vordoslavia's national animal is the Griffin, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholic Teutonism.

Vordoslavia is ranked 30,510^th in the world and 38^th in Union of Christian Nations for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 52.44 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.