The Mercenaries of Dear Old Uncle Sam is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by George McGovern with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, frequent executions, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.395 billion Yankees are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Administration are also considered important, while Welfare and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Washington DC. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 70.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Yankee economy, worth 529 trillion United States Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 221,161 United States Dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 848,702 per year while the poor average 39,733, a ratio of 21.4 to 1.

Blueriver mercenaries routinely do the army's dirty work, the running costs of homeless shelters are so high that it would be cheaper to buy houses for the homeless, the nation's hospitals are criticized for caring more about profits than patients, and the navy is chrome-plating its battleships to prevent rust. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dear Old Uncle Sam's national animal is the Bald Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Conservative Christianity.

Dear Old Uncle Sam is ranked 292,199^th in the world and 276^th in The Land of Kings and Emperors for Nicest Citizens, with 0.15 average smiles per day.