The United Socialist States of Coco Crab is a huge, socially progressive nation, ruled by Soviet Crab with a fair hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, free-roaming dinosaurs, and public floggings. The compassionate, democratic population of 785 million Coco Crabians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Administration, and Welfare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Law & Order aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Coco Crabberra. The average income tax rate is 70.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Coco Crabian economy, worth 84.8 trillion Cocrab Dollarydoos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 107,974 Cocrab Dollarydoos, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

At least 1% of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs budget goes to Soviet Crab's wardrobe, school teachers check the staff room for hidden webcams before complaining about rebellious students, the government is washing its hands of alleged corruption, and authorities are looking for a stool pigeon to rat out who is stealing food from pigeon toilets. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Coco Crab's national animal is the Coconut Crab, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Coco Crab is ranked 9,210^th in the world and 220^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 56.1 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.