The Democratic Republic of Club Bastardo is a small, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its zero percent divorce rate and irreverence towards religion. The quiet, industrious population of 36 million Club Bastardians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 7.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Club Bastardian economy, worth 1.96 trillion Pork Sodas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Soda Sales. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 54,551 Pork Sodas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Extreme political groups are outlawed, the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced, light entertainment isn't dead, and punitive tariffs protect local industry. Crime is well under control. Club Bastardo's national animal is the Ol' Diamondback Sturgeon, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Club Bastardo is ranked 134,614^th in the world and 832^nd in Europeia for Safest, scoring 67.39 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.