The Totally not dictatorship of Candelu is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Sebastiano Tiveron with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, strictly enforced bedtime, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 2.434 billion Candeluans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Candelù. The average income tax rate is 68.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Candeluan economy, worth 169 trillion Francs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 69,506 Francs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation leads the West Pacific for unlikely accidents and truffle consumption, Big Agriculture has the government by the nuts, engine room hooch is the drink of choice among the nation's navy, and the nation's only university is the School of Hard Knocks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Candelu's national animal is the european hare, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Candelu is ranked 45,042^nd in the world and 531^st in the West Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 75.75 law-abiding acts per hour.