The Democratic Republic of Beazlend is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Tommy Wiseau with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 22.165 billion Beazlendians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alfenheim. The average income tax rate is 99.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Beazlendian economy, worth a remarkable 5,717 trillion Zennis a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 257,955 Zennis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Stockbrokers dream of getting rich by writing textbooks, the internal market is thriving, third party candidates are now gaining some representation in Parliament, and most ambassadors from Beazlend retire only a few years after being appointed. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Beazlend's national animal is the Flying turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Atheism.

Beazlend is ranked 1,864^th in the world and 3^rd in The Atheist Empire for Lowest Crime Rates, with 147.55 law-abiding acts per hour.