The Republic of Doge Garrison 31 is a colossal, pleasant nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape. The hard-working population of 5.623 billion Doge Garrison 31ians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 17.1%.

The Doge Garrison 31ian economy, worth 261 trillion deniers a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Trout Farming, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 46,500 deniers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Parents must choose their children's names from a government-mandated master list, TV shows must meet strict ethnicity quotas, sneezing pedestrians are grabbed by alley-lurking doctors, and the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene. Crime is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Doge Garrison 31's national animal is the squirrel, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Doge Garrison 31 is ranked 120,222^nd in the world and 1^st in United Nations and Planets for Most Primitive, scoring -34.64 on the Scary Big Number Scale.