The United Federal States of Ivorica is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Mark Johnson with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, unlimited-speed roads, and infamous sell-swords. The hard-nosed, humorless population of 14.614 billion Ivoricans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Education, Administration, and Industry are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Columbus. The average income tax rate is 98.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Ivorican economy, worth a remarkable 5,877 trillion Ivorican Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 402,165 Ivorican Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Whipping posts and lashes have been transferred to the Historical Museum of Ivorican Embarrassments, the doctor has cold hands, criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program, and the Super-Spud Cinematic Universe is breaking box office records. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ivorica's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Bunch of religions.

Ivorica is ranked 291,358^th in the world and 5^th in Lezra for Nicest Citizens, with 0.17 average smiles per day.