The Rippling Green Needle-Sea of Coniferous Forests is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Connie Ferous with an iron fist, and notable for its feral children, lack of airports, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 9.843 billion Forestians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Environment, although Industry, Administration, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Education and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Treehouse. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 74.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Coniferous Forestsian economy, worth 979 trillion Needles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Tourism, Retail, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 99,510 Needles, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 300,326 per year while the poor average 25,688, a ratio of 11.7 to 1.

EpiPen sales have skyrocketed, citizens are deeply regretting challenging the government to be honest about its intentions, endangered bison are herded across the border to prevent them from trampling on native prairie grass, and nature reserves often contain artificial waterfalls and concrete paths. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Coniferous Forests's national animal is the Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Druidism.

Coniferous Forests is ranked 8,390^th in the world and 25^th in Forest for Most Corrupt Governments, with 170.86 kickbacks per hour.