The Republic of Bes Zigara is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Johnny Depp with an iron fist, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, frequent executions, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 15.712 billion Bes Zigarans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Boston. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 70.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Bes Zigaran economy, worth a remarkable 3,145 trillion kronor a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 200,180 kronor, with the richest citizens earning 7.0 times as much as the poorest.

The government is purchasing vast amounts of palm oil for plastics production, the minority party is vilified for everything from fires to earthquakes, cars are banned, and the government has put a kid glove on the invisible hand of the free market. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bes Zigara's national animal is the unicorn, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Baseball.

Bes Zigara is ranked 50,728^th in the world and 10^th in Boston for Lowest Crime Rates, with 74.1 law-abiding acts per hour.