The Queen's State of Zu Koln is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its complete lack of prisons. The hard-working, democratic population of 19.171 billion Zu Kolnians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, outspoken government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Welfare, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.5%.

The thriving Zu Kolnian economy, worth 619 trillion betales a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is quite specialized and dominated by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 32,319 betales, with the richest citizens earning 8.9 times as much as the poorest.

Voting is voluntary, the tenet of free speech is held dear, and a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway. Crime is a problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Zu Koln's national animal is the deer, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Zu Koln is ranked 259,665^th in the world and 4^th in Saint Petersburg for Lowest Crime Rates, with 46.61 law-abiding acts per hour.