The Empire of Yestel is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Representative Number 1 with a fair hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, ubiquitous missile silos, and compulsory vegetarianism. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 13.829 billion Yestelians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Defense, Administration, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Coral Cove. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Yestelian economy, worth a remarkable 5,439 trillion 💎 Diamonds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 393,320 💎 Diamonds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Digital novelty coins make for surprising vanguards of the revolution, practising saying 'how now brown cow' is an essential part of holiday planning, earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss, and large sections of Yestel have been named national reserves to protect the native tribes living there. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Yestel's national animal is the Crow, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Yestel is ranked 289,661^st in the world and 1,348^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.35 kickbacks per hour.