The Fractured States of Wardency is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by like 3 different people with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, anti-smoking policies, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 10.468 billion Wardish are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Education and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Priastand. The average income tax rate is 99.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Wardish economy, worth a remarkable 4,019 trillion Kronurs a year, is extremely specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 383,984 Kronurs, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,251,066 per year while the poor average 88,726, a ratio of 14.1 to 1.

Politicians "baring all" for the camera isn't always a figure of speech, actively encouraging climate change is helping reduce winter fuel costs, diplomacy is a foreign concept to Wardish, and blackface performers claim they are being deliberately ironic. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Wardency's national animal is the Wardish cod, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Wardish Elisimism.

Wardency is ranked 293,151^st in the world and 74^th in Saint Helene for Lowest Crime Rates, with 4.32 law-abiding acts per hour.