The Republic of Valdez Islands is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Ferdinand Ortiz with a fair hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, daily referendums, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, democratic population of 9.834 billion Valdezians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Puerto Valdes. The average income tax rate is 94.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Valdezian economy, worth a remarkable 1,526 trillion Valdezian Pesos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 155,211 Valdezian Pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation is stuck in permanent election mode as politicians demand constant do-overs, students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak, the "Dreadnowt" is the pride and joy of the Valdezian Navy, and the Finance Ministry posts hourly updates on where taxpayer money is spent. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Valdez Islands's national animal is the Rua, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Valdez Islands is ranked 288,287^th in the world and 44^th in Regionless for Most Primitive, scoring -555.84 on the Scary Big Number Scale.