The Military Junta of Valaryian Burvenchkaht is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Koroyios Mavrolouloukos with an iron fist, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.082 billion Valaryian Greeks are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vahneel. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 85.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Valaryian Burvenchkahtian economy, worth 895 trillion Drachmas a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an amazing 290,652 Drachmas, with the richest citizens earning 5.8 times as much as the poorest.

Burgers often list "miscellaneous meats" in their ingredients, colonial subjects have Valaryian Burvenchkahtian culture shoved down their throats, hymns sung by popular choirs top the billboard charts, and organisations with 800 in their phone number are often raided by special forces. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valaryian Burvenchkaht's national animal is the Phoenix, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Valaryian Burvenchkaht is ranked 281,746^th in the world and 31^st in Valaryia for Safest, scoring 4.72 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.