The Laboratories of Upska is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Empress Regnant Aureliana CXLIII Upska with an iron fist, and notable for its triple-decker prams, public floggings, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 19.066 billion Upskians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aureliaska. The average income tax rate is 96.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Upskian economy, worth a remarkable 8,285 trillion Upskian Fingers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 434,550 Upskian Fingers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, Upska is increasingly belligerent on the international stage, birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire, and tax evaders are regularly visited by agents of the Upska Blood Tithe. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Upska's national animal is the Escherichia coli, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Aurelianaism.

Upska is ranked 949^th in the world and 1^st in Banaanvraag for Most Corrupt Governments, with 483.91 kickbacks per hour.