The Federal Republic of Tesco Aisle 17 is a huge, efficient nation, renowned for its smutty television, public floggings, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 695 million Tesconians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while International Aid and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Garden City. The average income tax rate is 40.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Tesconian economy, worth 71.6 trillion Meal Deals a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 103,089 Meal Deals, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure, the beauty of coastal towns is marred only slightly by all the closed-down storefronts, confessions don't count if suffixed with "izzle", and residents of houses built on a foundation of wishful thinking are prone to an odd sinking feeling. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tesco Aisle 17's national animal is the Clubcard, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tesco Aisle 17 is ranked 61,382^nd in the world and 1,776^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 3,581.33 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.