The United Districts of Tsarus is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Prime Eldritch Minister Jozef Kaiser with an iron fist, and renowned for its strictly enforced bedtime, infamous sell-swords, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.985 billion Tsarusians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Defense, with Education, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while International Aid and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Teissure. The average income tax rate is 75.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tsarusian economy, worth a remarkable 4,055 trillion Units a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 270,619 Units, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Exports are stamped with "made by the invisible hand you commies", a nickname of "Doctor Death" probably indicates a decorated war hero, songs of praise to Prime Eldritch Minister Jozef Kaiser are filled with coded messages from the resistance, and biological warfare is used to solve small disagreements. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Tsarus's national animal is the Timber Wolf, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Eldritch Orthodoxy.

Tsarus is ranked 34,807^th in the world and 1^st in Tsarus for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 198.05 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.