The Socialist Federal Republic of The Traansval is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Jethro Kendi with a fair hand, and remarkable for its national health service, sprawling nuclear power plants, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 14.272 billion Valians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jacaranda City. The average income tax rate is 94.6%.

The all-consuming Valian economy, worth a remarkable 1,699 trillion Rand a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 119,063 Rand, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nothing gets the party jumping like Jethro Kendi specifying how high, cutting-edge missile systems are being retrofitted to twin-prop air force biplanes, nations that kill a Valian can expect a strongly worded letter, and signs stating "You Must be This Tall to Enter" have started appearing outside retirement homes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Traansval's national animal is the Transvaal Lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

The Traansval is ranked 15,649^th in the world and 2^nd in Federation of Allies for Highest Food Quality, scoring 132.41 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.