The Alpine Kingdom of The Soviet state of Svalbard is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by HRM Rioeste I with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, soft-spoken computers, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 14.443 billion Svalbardians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Healthcare, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Trondelang. The income tax rate is 100.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Svalbardian economy, worth a remarkable 3,381 trillion BCS a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 234,156 BCS, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Minority children spend hours bussing to schools miles away from home, helium balloons lift the nation's spacecraft towards the heavens, only adults may purchase violent video games, and elections have become procedural nightmares due to voters persistently rejecting candidates. Crime is totally unknown. The Soviet state of Svalbard's national animal is the No-anime penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

The Soviet state of Svalbard is ranked 291,643^rd in the world and 43^rd in Northern Utopia for Most Primitive, scoring -823.28 on the Scary Big Number Scale.