The Empire of The Industrial States of Columbia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Queen Victoria with an iron fist, and remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, smutty television, and otherworldly petting zoo. The cynical, cheerful, devout population of 21.095 billion Columbians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Healthcare, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Delphia. The average income tax rate is 90.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Columbian economy, worth a remarkable 2,610 trillion Pound Sterlings a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 123,731 Pound Sterlings, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days', netizens fiercely argue over who loves Queen Victoria more, five-year-olds who refuse to line up on command get gold stars, and the navy's new flotilla is gonna be a thrilla. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Industrial States of Columbia's national animal is the Red Tailed Hawk, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Anglicanism.

The Industrial States of Columbia is ranked 248,980^th in the world and 2^nd in Cobalt Network for Most Primitive, scoring -149.39 on the Scary Big Number Scale.