The Federal Republic of The Cascadian Separatist Republic is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by John Antifa with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, free-roaming dinosaurs, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.674 billion Cascadians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Welfare, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Law & Order and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New New New New Portland. The average income tax rate is 80.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Cascadian economy, worth 488 trillion Cascadian Ultradollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Woodchip Exports, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 73,153 Cascadian Ultradollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A vast monorail network carries people all over the country, the government puts forth the claim that harming young girls is wrong, weather forecasts are accurate but nobody has the bandwidth to view them, and guide dogs for the blind have been seen using government websites. Crime is totally unknown. The Cascadian Separatist Republic's national animal is the Northwest Tree Octopus, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

The Cascadian Separatist Republic is ranked 283,567^th in the world and 6^th in Political Compass Memes for Most Patriotic, with 0.44 flags saluted per person per day.