The Dem Socialist Republic of The Cardwith Islands is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Charles Nellis with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, irreverence towards religion, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 24.952 billion Cardwithians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Social Policy. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Noritts. The average income tax rate is 90.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Cardwithian economy, worth a remarkable 1,307 trillion Tupas a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is 52,385 Tupas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The state conscripts sociopathic orphan girls to train as professional assassins, conversion therapy coupons are a popular present for coming of age ceremonies, the government recently donated a surfboard to an impoverished family in a landlocked region, and disadvantaged neighbourhoods have become no-go areas after sundown. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Cardwith Islands's national animal is the Howler Monkey, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

The Cardwith Islands is ranked 34,391^st in the world and 1^st in Wishtonia for Lowest Crime Rates, with 80.27 law-abiding acts per hour.